Ten Things As A Mom, I NEVER Thought I’d Hear Myself Say…

16 Jan


1.   Get OFF of your sister!

2.   Nothing goes into that hole. Nothing. That is an exit only hole.  Understood?

3.   Okay, just HAND me your booger.

4.   Don’t flush, I need to look at it.

5.   I will give you 20 dollars; if you stop talking.

6.   Just, spit it into my hand!

7.   Good Lord! That smells just awful. What did you eat? A dead person?

8.   (To my 5 year-old daughter) Careful on that pole sweetie, it’s slippery!

9.   Do NOT lick the wall of a public restroom! You know what? Don’t lick any walls.

10. No. You’re right. It wasn’t a raisin. How ’bout you stop eating off the ground?

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