Ten Things As A Mom, I NEVER Thought I’d Hear Myself Say…

16 Jan

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1.   Get OFF of your sister!

2.   Nothing goes into that hole. Nothing. That is an exit only hole.  Understood?

3.   Okay, just HAND me your booger.

4.   Don’t flush, I need to look at it.

5.   I will give you 20 dollars; if you stop talking.

6.   Just, spit it into my hand!

7.   Good Lord! That smells just awful. What did you eat? A dead person?

8.   (To my 5 year-old daughter) Careful on that pole sweetie, it’s slippery!

9.   Do NOT lick the wall of a public restroom! You know what? Don’t lick any walls.

10. No. You’re right. It wasn’t a raisin. How ’bout you stop eating off the ground?

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