And There You Have It. Loving Your Kids In The Midst Of Their (Brutal) Honesty.

1 Feb

The other day my daughter was so kind to point out a pimple. On my lip.

I was in the middle of a very touching moment. She had impressed me with her kindness when speaking about a girl that no one liked in her kindergarten class and I bent down in front of her, so that she could see the sincerity and pride in my eyes. I was telling her how wonderful she is and what a kind heart she has and I’m noticing that she’s stopped beaming at me and has focused her attention to my mouth, her smile fading, her brow slowly furrowing, as she slightly leans in to get a closer look. It’s like she’s looking at a smooshed snail; slightly intrigued, slightly totally grossed out… I realize I’ve lost her attention, so I wrap it up with a “You make me so proud…” and as I lean in to give her a smooch, she stops me in my tracks, a single finger up to ensure no contact is made, “You have a pimple on your lip mom”, she says, disgusted.

Now, anyone who has kids knows that their raw, truthfulness, though innocent and naive, can CUT you like a knife. Nothing takes you out of a snuggly, sweet moment, cuddling with your kids like a “Mommy you have a chubby belly, blub, blub”, as they grab it and jiggle it around. Or when you give them a big, happy hug during after school pick-up and they look right into your eyes and say, “you’re wrinkly”. My hand immediately went to my cheek, where a kiss should have been planted and I say light-heartedly, “Well, mommy is old…” and I quickly, playfully grab her in for the bear hug. She giggles but manages to get out a muffled  “You ARE old mama.”  Then she shrugs, smiles big and skips ahead of me, looking for sticks and dandelions. And I love her so much, my bones ache.

Nobody can prepare you for the love that you feel for your child. No one can explain to you how much you can still love your child even in the midst of their sometimes harsh and truthful criticism. It’s pure observational honesty. They’ve yet to learn a filter for this.

And though, I’m relatively unaffected by her observations, they do hit you in a place that reminds you; that they are the child and you are… not.

Once we are in the car, I pull down the visor mirror to see just how bad it has gotten in the bright afternoon light. It’s not good, so I apply some lip gloss and move on. As my kids settle into their seats and buckle themselves in, my son sees the stuffed piggy he’s had since he was a baby, in the laundry basket, waiting to be washed. He picks it up and hugs it close like he used to and says, “Mom, it smells like you!” (Uh-Oh)  “Oh yeah? What’s that smell like?” I take a breath and brace myself, he says, “home.”

And there you have it.

4 Responses to “And There You Have It. Loving Your Kids In The Midst Of Their (Brutal) Honesty.”

  1. Pamela Whittaker . February 1, 2013 at 11:49 pm #

    Love it. It reminds me of the time my daughter told me my nose breath stank or when I was singing to her at bedtime and she put her fingers on my lips and said “mommy, please don’t sing. Why don’t you read me a story. Which is why I knew I had no future on broadway.

  2. theedgeofoz February 2, 2013 at 2:36 am #

    I have had these moments as well and the way I try to look at it is a) it’s a laughing moment most of the time and b) its ok to allow them to be brutally honest with you in certain situations because, when they get older and like is kicking them royally in the ass, they will hopefully be that honest when they need to be so you can help them out of whatever mess they may be in.

    I love those moments because it allows you to teach your kids that you can be brutally honest with the people that truly love you! 🙂

  3. 3stagesofgirl February 2, 2013 at 10:48 pm #

    Thank you for reposting!!!!!


  1. And There You Have It. Loving Your Kids In The Midst Of Their (Brutal) Honesty. « theunseasonedhousewife - February 1, 2013

    […] And There You Have It. Loving Your Kids In The Midst Of Their (Brutal) Honesty.. […]

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