Mom Purse

18 Jul

purse

What you see is not pretty. Do not judge me.

I am not proud, but I feel no shame.

I invite you to take a glimpse in to the ugly side of my mom’ness. The truth is brutal. Consider yourself warned. You may want to look away, what you see is from the parental depths of hell… It’s my purse. And I’m sorry.

My daughter handed me a small shiny rock she found at the park. She asked me to keep it safe. I put it in my purse. Later that day, she asked for it. I removed the usual purse items; wallet, sunglasses case, antibacterial wipes, keys, small make-up bag, etc and this is what I saw.  Stunned, I took a closer look… how did this happen? I JUST cleaned it out. But there it was; a few days of just being a mom was right there… staring at me… carrying possible disease. A few days worth of us being late, grabbing snacks on a whim, quarter machines at the grocery store,… and the fact that I’m handed trash and other various items all day long from my children… sometimes they don’t even look at me when they do this… and I don’t really ask them to… I just take it and shove it in my purse.

Look closely. Somewhere in there is my self-esteem. Possibly my virginity (Yeah. No that’s looonng gone.)

There WAS a green skittle in there, but I ate it. I know, I know… Ga. Ross. BUT, I was desperate. I had a garlic bagel for lunch and then I had a meeting and couldn’t find my gum (shocker) and the meeting was at a Coffee Bean and certainly going to involve some close talking, so I did what I had to do. I ate the skittle. I did have to pry it off the lego dude but it tasted fine, and I will forever tell myself that the grainy things were just sand and that sand is natural and from the earth. God made dirt and dirt don’t hurt… Sand from a park… Um.. probably has cat pee in it… but I can’t worry about that NOW!

One of the many lies I tell myself regularly so that I don’t totally lose it.

This madness BTW, is only second to my cars cup holders… I think one of those are growing polio. There’s been a quarter glued to the bottom of one for over a year and when I say glued, I mean stuck by some unknown substance; perhaps a slurpee, melted lollipop or bubbles… probably all of the above. I found a French fry between the seats once and it was so petrified that I used it to try and scrape off the quarter when I was desperate for change at a parking meter. It didn’t work. It snapped in half, I ripped a nail, dropped the F-Bomb and the quarter remains.

4 Responses to “Mom Purse”

  1. Jane August 28, 2013 at 2:27 pm #

    Just found your blog and loving it! Please keep writing. From one mother to another.

  2. upstairsproductions August 28, 2013 at 3:43 pm #

    I know that skittle and the green lego dude! Followed you on twitter, good stuff.

  3. theveryhungry August 29, 2013 at 1:16 am #

    It is high time we shed some light on the mom purse and this is spot on from the mystery sand to the lies we tell ourselves! Wonderful!

  4. curlymamaof2 September 13, 2013 at 10:08 pm #

    Oh I laughed right out loud! I am so relieved I’m not the only one! Fantastic post!

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